hecklin' be a way of life. when you heckle, you heckle to live. you heckle the bad musicians right off they stage, you heckle the bad films right off they screen, you heckle the powerful right off they thrones.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

hullo

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

this is what i do with my time

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I create awkward social situations.

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I run into shit.

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I get the crap kicked outta me by oversized ethnic stereotypes.

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chickens comment on my privates.

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I wear weird jewelry.


just in case you were wondering.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

deep dude, way deep.

There comes a time in every man's life when he must shut up, buck up, and become Ernest Hemingway for a day. Put all your crippling deficiencies to the side and look at life through the lens of unbridled masculinity. Go buy a fucking gun and go shoot at some animal that has a good chance of killing you first. Go buy a fast car and drive it off a cliff. Drink hard and unhappily. Write terse, short sentences.

Off in the distance, three men were standing near each other. I knew this because I had only recently passed them on the road. I didn't stop. I didn't question why they were standing on the side of the road, doing nothing. I passed them by. And it was only after they were several miles distant I even noticed them. I looked back off the southern end of that northbound car at three men standing by the side of the road.

I never wanted continuity. All I wanted out of life was a series of indistinct and unrelated images. A few moments, pulled out of temporal context, take on an entirely new meaning. I wanted to be a reflector of experience perhaps. A mirror for the vain world to admire itself in. An impartial parser of dead information. A relay point for humanity.

All existence, everything that is and breathes, is a hypostasis of raw information. Our brains are the processor that serves up the endless bitstream to our consciousness. Angels broadcast celestial propaganda through the digital web of the universe. Electromagnetic revelation needs a medium through which to propagate. That medium is life.

Memory is a symptom of confusion, endless confusion that invigorates and awakens perception. We are born into the world with the memory of nothingness onto which we impose experience.

Assuming we were born at all. Most people hold no memory of birth, it's simply accepted. The Origin Question is puzzling. And even the memory of birth is just retelling of the fiction fed to us by the universe.

My mother Knew I would die one day. As she held me in her arms. The doctor said, “You have given birth to a glorious tragedy.” A tragedy that will rock the foundations of earth and heaven. A tragedy that will scream because it is alive and make gods tremble at its might. “You have birthed a human. The most immaculate misconception.”

Sunday, March 20, 2005

it's a hit.

y'all should check out rilo kiley if you haven't yet. i realize i'm a little late on the indie bus for this one, cause they've already been on conan. but seriously, they rock.

so my life eh? not a whole lot.

i wrote this.

cold lips and quiet eyes
she came to me in the night time
she looked me up and she looked me down
let's go boy, go downtown

come on boy, let's go down
go down where we first came around
where i first saw her shine in the streetlight's last
and we held hands on broken glass

broken promises and cold blue air
she left me lying in the moonlight where
we first met not so long ago
where she first said see boy i told you so

she's trying very hard. to ignore the sounds of drowning children coming from the back of the shopping mall where she first heard the sound of a sharp knife coming down on the spine of a burning book and she hopes that she's. nevermind. nevermind.

that will appear on songfight.org under "let's go boy" as "the meanness" in case you were wondering.

Monday, March 14, 2005

junk.

ad frank really rocks.

kinda reminds me of veldt. except sexier voice. and is in a band called the fast easy women, which is a damn awesome name.

and lifestyle rocks too.

in fact why don't you just check out radio achewood.

now that that's out of the way how're you?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

just in case you haven't noticed

diet coke is still disgusting.

in other news. i finally found my copy of the zoo story, which is good considering i am directing it, and considering that auditions are monday... and i still have to cut it. etc. etc.


i've never been one to talk about my day or my feelings. thoughts always seemed more important, thoughts and actions, feelings didn't need to be articulated. and certainly, you don't need to hear the minutiae of my daily routine.
/*
in case you're interested:

6:00 wake the fuck up
8:00 drag myself to school
2:50 leave school
3:20-3:30 arrive at home
3:30-6:00am vegetative state
/*

i also prattle. in company. with friends i'm usually silent. it's odd, i'm like a social reciprocal. give me casual acquaintance or give me akward silence. besides, words can't do justice to a human feeling of infinite dimensions. i listen to music, i desperately try to create something interesting, i brush my teeth. i also have a dog. and 2 parents. and a house. no job, and a computer. i isolate myself a lot, i don't go out on a limb to seek social interaction, though i'll complain about the lack of it at the first opportunity. i don't enjoy decisions. i think they are unecessecary distractions. i think most of our civilization is an unecessary distraction. distraction from what i don't know. i wear glasses, i am of the opinion they've done nothing but speed up the disintegration of my vision. just like most medicine does nothing but put a bandaid over a shrapnel wound. i think people put too much emphasis on ideology and systems and values and ethics when all that matters is humanity. we also put too much emphasis on "history" and the "past" when all it is is a fiction we've created to explain our current situation. I think most grand works of literature can be expressed in one sentence or less. i think teenagers are terrible writers, with few exceptions. i think the concept of power is the most harmful thing the human race has invented. "there is no emperor, only the people believe there is one, and one man believes it is he." the greatest crime you can commit, in the eyes of the state, is to think for yourself. liberal democrat, conservative republican, east south, north west, it's all two sides of the same coin. both sides have vested interests in maintaining the status quo. neither wants change, they just want face time. power cancels morals, values is just another buzzword for quashing invention, humanity, and spirit. i have hope for the twenty first century. i have hope for humanity.

i am against emphasis.

Finnegan's wake grows more unreadable by the hour while Valis and the Transmigration of timothy Archer rots in the back drawers of some pseudo-hip-intellectual's mind. for dropping in references.

outsider movements are assimilated quietly, watered down, stripped of viability, danger and meaning, and slipped into the shopping malls to be sold alongside the other commodities.

there's no such thing as a bad word. you have every right to yell fire in a crowded theatre. language is a tool, is there such a thing as a hammer that is "innapropriate?" we are taught about fucking in school, they teach girls to take their cunt pills and they teach boys to wear their jimmy-hats. what does it matter what either one is called? it's a sound.

sex really isn't that important. jesus had a penis, ron jeremy is an asshole.

time is sort of an organization of information. by language, by perception, by reason, by denying chaos. by denying that our universe was birthed by a collosal act of violence and destruction. that our universe was created by the destruction of order.

people frighten me in so many ways. first in the "i don't know what to say to you" way and more importantly, in the "who the hell are you" kind of way. it comes from feeling isolated for a lot of my life. like there's no one who really *cares* about me, which of course is silly because my parents do if no one else.

oh and free tibet... yadda yadda...

Monday, March 07, 2005

ugh, my face hurts. whole head hurts. uggggghh! ugh i say. rar.

so.


that's all.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

what more do you fucking want?

friends, acceptance, personality, love, acclaim, recognition, talent would be nice, anything else?

just that.

naturally shaped head

cat and girl check it the hell out.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

looka me

hello,

i am feeling bad again. and i shouldn't be because there is nothing really wrong with my life. Tragedies have been in short supply. Weeping should be kept to a minimum.

but anyway. How's life for you? Good i would hope.