just in case you haven't noticed
diet coke is still disgusting.
in other news. i finally found my copy of the zoo story, which is good considering i am directing it, and considering that auditions are monday... and i still have to cut it. etc. etc.
i've never been one to talk about my day or my feelings. thoughts always seemed more important, thoughts and actions, feelings didn't need to be articulated. and certainly, you don't need to hear the minutiae of my daily routine.
in case you're interested:
6:00 wake the fuck up
8:00 drag myself to school
2:50 leave school
3:20-3:30 arrive at home
3:30-6:00am vegetative state
i also prattle. in company. with friends i'm usually silent. it's odd, i'm like a social reciprocal. give me casual acquaintance or give me akward silence. besides, words can't do justice to a human feeling of infinite dimensions. i listen to music, i desperately try to create something interesting, i brush my teeth. i also have a dog. and 2 parents. and a house. no job, and a computer. i isolate myself a lot, i don't go out on a limb to seek social interaction, though i'll complain about the lack of it at the first opportunity. i don't enjoy decisions. i think they are unecessecary distractions. i think most of our civilization is an unecessary distraction. distraction from what i don't know. i wear glasses, i am of the opinion they've done nothing but speed up the disintegration of my vision. just like most medicine does nothing but put a bandaid over a shrapnel wound. i think people put too much emphasis on ideology and systems and values and ethics when all that matters is humanity. we also put too much emphasis on "history" and the "past" when all it is is a fiction we've created to explain our current situation. I think most grand works of literature can be expressed in one sentence or less. i think teenagers are terrible writers, with few exceptions. i think the concept of power is the most harmful thing the human race has invented. "there is no emperor, only the people believe there is one, and one man believes it is he." the greatest crime you can commit, in the eyes of the state, is to think for yourself. liberal democrat, conservative republican, east south, north west, it's all two sides of the same coin. both sides have vested interests in maintaining the status quo. neither wants change, they just want face time. power cancels morals, values is just another buzzword for quashing invention, humanity, and spirit. i have hope for the twenty first century. i have hope for humanity.
i am against emphasis.
Finnegan's wake grows more unreadable by the hour while Valis and the Transmigration of timothy Archer rots in the back drawers of some pseudo-hip-intellectual's mind. for dropping in references.
outsider movements are assimilated quietly, watered down, stripped of viability, danger and meaning, and slipped into the shopping malls to be sold alongside the other commodities.
there's no such thing as a bad word. you have every right to yell fire in a crowded theatre. language is a tool, is there such a thing as a hammer that is "innapropriate?" we are taught about fucking in school, they teach girls to take their cunt pills and they teach boys to wear their jimmy-hats. what does it matter what either one is called? it's a sound.
sex really isn't that important. jesus had a penis, ron jeremy is an asshole.
time is sort of an organization of information. by language, by perception, by reason, by denying chaos. by denying that our universe was birthed by a collosal act of violence and destruction. that our universe was created by the destruction of order.
people frighten me in so many ways. first in the "i don't know what to say to you" way and more importantly, in the "who the hell are you" kind of way. it comes from feeling isolated for a lot of my life. like there's no one who really *cares* about me, which of course is silly because my parents do if no one else.
oh and free tibet... yadda yadda...